Been dating for 2 years
Been dating for 2 years
Maybe they treat him like shit, or maybe he has no relationship with them at all and he doesn’t know how to tell you either of these things.
Or perhaps he really likes you but had a traumatic childhood and he wants to save you and himself from it.
A “great” one won’t come your way unless you’re willing to pass on the ones that are merely “good.” So this is a simple plea: demand strong feelings from your relationship. Have the courage to believe that something better is out there.
Demand awe and inspiration–not all the time, but at least with some regularity. (Hell, I think you might even be able to know sooner than that, but I’m trying to be reasonable here.) And I know some people take issue with this, saying they were dating three years (or more) before they truly fell in love, and now they’ve been together 40 years now, blah, blah, blah. But what happens a lot more often is people who are in limbo for years simply get married because they feel they can’t “waste” the 5 years they’ve been together by splitting up now, and instead go on to waste ten more miserable years together being in an incompatible relationship they don’t have the courage to get out of. ♦◊♦ Now, this theory of high standards has to apply to yourself as well—don’t settle for a mediocre version of yourself if you want to attract an amazing mate.
In the photo above, I wrote some options that came to mind (obviously there is overlap, but I just wanted to demonstrate how I think about things).
If you haven’t met the family and it concerns you, in my opinion you have two good options.
Q: What does it mean if he doesn’t take you to meet his family?
A: It can mean all sorts of different things when a guy doesn’t take you to meet his family.In the end, they fail to make space in their lives for the right person because there’s no room.In the creative arts, there is a saying: “Good is the enemy of great.” And I’d say the same applies to relationships. If you’re not saying aloud (or at least to yourself) “I love you” to your mate in 6 months or less, hit the “next” button.If you want someone who lives passionately, has an interesting, fulfilling career, has tons of hobbies, fills the room with their personality and inspires other through their actions, then you need to be that kind of person, too. We settle for mediocrity in ourselves and yet expect to end up with Leonardo Di Caprio or Keira Knightley.The classic “double-standard.” If the double standard doesn’t apply to you, it’s possible you have too much patience. Part of being an adult is being tolerant and accepting of others’ flaws. Which is why you owe it to both of you to move on, and give each other room to find a better match.Aaron Steinberg is my resident “dude” in my new, “Ask A Dude” series.